Gat Out Of Hell Spoilers and Rant

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metalbearbaby1027's avatar
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SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
SPOILER WARNING
THIS ENTRY INCLUDES THE ENDING OF THE SAINTS ROW: GAT OUT OF HELL DLC.

    Okay, so I feel like bawling my fucking eyes out right now. Yesterday, after the long-awaited release, I finally got my copy of Gat Out Of Hell after FUCKING EVER and beat it just over a half-hour ago. I am currently trying to process all my emotions right now but all I'm feeling is my heart break into a billion tiny pieces.
    To those who don't know, Johnny Gat is my NUMBER 1 FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER OF ALL TIME (which is really saying something).
    So in Gat Out Of Hell, you can choose one out of five endings:
    1. Johnny goes to Heaven to be reunited with Aisha (Johnny dies).
    2. Johnny becomes the new King of Hell with Dane at his side while he waits for the Saints to die and join him in Hell (Johnny dies and know that everybody else will die).
    3. Johnny gets to exterminate an entire planet for the Saints.
    4. The world gets recreated in some alternate universe type scenario and Johnny is a police officer.
    5.  Johnny gets all the answers to the universe.
    I HATE ALL OF THEM.
    I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to like any of these? You have two where Johnny dies, one where he barely gets to kill, and two INCREDIBLY anticlimactic endings. There is no way I can like any of these.
    Ending 1 is by far the saddest because everyone wonders where Johnny is and it's just like "...Yeah he's never coming back. He's dead in Heaven with Aisha and you'll never see him again since it's obvious you're going to hell." I MEAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE. You can't imply romantic tendencies with Shaundi and Jezebel, and have the ability to fuck the Boss in IV, ONLY TO BRING BACK AISHA. THAT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY.
    Ending 2... in what universe is this a good ending? Yeah, I mean Johnny gets to murder without consequences. BUT HE'S THERE ALL BY HIMSELF. Yeah, he's got Dane and the DeWynters, but why would that be good? He has to wait for his closest friends to die before he could ever see them again. That's supposed to be your happy fucking ending? FUCK NO! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT.
    Lastly, with the pre-ending cutscene. Can someone please fill me in on what bullshit happened between SR4 and the DLC? Matt and Asha are canon (official in the Saints Row universe) AND MATT FLIRTS WITH SHAUNDI?!?!
    No
    No
    NO
    JUST FUCKING NO
    There is just so much wrong with the DLC, it built itself on the hype. At first you think, "I'm going to run around in Hell for a little bit, shoot the Devil in the face, and then go eat cake with the rest of the gang." Yeah, no. This game is fun for about twenty minutes only because it filled in minor holes from the past Saints Row games.

The next section relates to my fanfiction:
    "Hey Mia, is Gat Out Of Hell going to be involved in your fanfiction at all?"
    HELL
    FUCKING
    NO
    BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING SADIST WHO LOVES TO TEAR AT THE HEARTSTRINGS OF THE FANS OF THE SAINTS ROW FRANCHISE.
    There is practically nothing I would use from Gat Out Of Hell in my fanfiction. The only thing I would ever use from Gat Out Of Hell is the confirmed existence of NyteBlaydette. EVERYTHING ELSE CAN FUCK OFF. There will be no Asha X Matt, there will be no Gat going to Heaven or Hell, the Boss will not be kidnapped by Satan. NOTHING. 
    Basically, I think Volition just really screwed up with this DLC.
    So I'm going to go punch a hole in the wall and cry myself to sleep.
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avgnfan55's avatar
I agree with the short length, and most of the endings are bullshit (with the exception of finding a new planet, that's the only one I'll consider canon). But I had a blast flying around the city, And killing Dex never get's old.

For what it was, I considerate passable for a DLC. I wasn't expecting Saints Row 5, but I'll take what I can get. If it was a full $60 game, I'd feel ripped off.

What I feel they should have done, is flesh it out more. Make it Saint's Row 5, with more story, more characters, music tracks, a larger world, summon-able crew members, more banter with the Dywinter sisters, And a more satisfying ending.

You have to admit though, It's has the best winged-flying experience, I've ever played.